The Tension Between Becoming and Being

A note to anyone trying to balance the longing to evolve with the need to simply be.

I often find myself in a space of reflection. Examining over my actions and thoughts with a magnifying glass, combing through my peculiarities with a fine-tooth comb, searching for ways I can be better.

In many ways, that’s a beautiful instinct. Without reflection, growth is impossible. Without awareness, how would we evolve? How would we soften the edges or uncover our deepest truths?

But lately, I’ve been wondering, when do we pause the pursuit of becoming and allow ourselves to simply be? How can I allow both parts of myself - the seeker and the stillness - to simultaneously coexist? I want to know that I am perfect as I am, while still honouring the long journey ahead. That I can rest and strive, breathe and reach, forgive and refine, all at once.

We hear so much about self-improvement. There are countless podcasts, books, and voices telling us how to optimise our lives, discipline our minds, and craft our highest selves. But far fewer remind us of self-acceptance. The ability to embrace all aspects of ourselves, our strengths and weaknesses, our successes and failures, without judgement. To hold space for ourselves in our hardest moments.

The truth is that we can only grow authentically if we begin from a place of wholeness. That before we transform, we must first feel safe inside who we already are. We need to be allowed to rest without guilt, without blame.

Maybe it’s what I’ve been taught growing up. Maybe it’s because I’m a chronic over-thinker. Or maybe it’s just the human condition - this tension between effort and ease. I know I’m not the only one trying to balance the part of me that longs to evolve, to become something greater with the part of me that simply wants to be seen. To be understood, as I am.

But here’s a note for myself, and for anyone else that may need to hear it:

You’re going to make mistakes. You might try and do everything right - to say the right things, to take the right path - and still feel like you’ve misstepped somewhere. Remember that there are no mistakes in life, only opportunities to learn, to soften, and to reset. We don’t always need to have the answers or know exactly where we’re going. We’re being guided in ways we can’t yet imagine so let yourself sit back, breathe, and trust in the unfolding. If you mis-speak or mess up, let it be okay. Laugh it off. Apologise if needed. Let the moment grow your heart just a little bit wider. It’s not a reflection of failure. It’s just part of the beautiful, messy process of becoming.

I'm still learning that we don’t always need a breakthrough. We don’t always need to be chasing something. Sometimes, it’s enough to just be here, with the rawness of reality. To see yourself, as you are, today, and recognise the beauty in that. I don’t necessarily know what it means to fully accept myself while making space for a higher version of me to exist.

But at this moment, all I know is that you are allowed to be a work in progress and a masterpiece. You don’t really need to do anything more than to live — with awareness, with intention, but still... just live.